One of the most common reasons people come for individual therapy as well as couple counselling is to explore and address their relationship issues and problems. Relationships are a universal experience for us all and our close relationships have a lasting meaning and significance for us whether together or apart. On a day-to-day basis we can have multiple interactions with our romantic partners, children, friends, work colleagues and wider family members. Many factors can affect our relationships and it’s not unusual that things do not always go smoothly.
Relationship problems understandably cause significant distress to those affected. These problems can leave people feeling increasingly isolated, unacknowledged, misunderstood, powerless and at a loss around how to change things. People understandably adopt defensive strategies and behaviours to cope with or manage their relationship issues. Over time these behaviours can impact on the quality of their relationships and may increase relationship distress for all involved. Therapy can help you make sense of your relationship issues enabling you to bring about change in how you respond within them.
A lot of people come for counselling to explore difficulties within their romantic relationships. People come as they feel their relationship is stuck, on the verge of breakdown, near separation or coming to an end. Some people come to therapy to think about separating or ending their current relationship. Many people may benefit from therapy as it allows you to explore and make sense of your romantic relationships and the patterns that have emerged over time. Powerful feelings, thoughts and beliefs can build up over time and impact heavily on your current relationship. Therapy provides a thoughtful and non-judgemental setting to reflect on your feelings or ideas and the relevant contributing factors around them.
Some people come to therapy as they find it difficult to maintain relationships and can struggle with emotional intimacy and closeness. Social anxieties can develop or become exacerbated due to perceived relationship problems making it more difficult to get on with those closest to you and leaving you unwilling to engage in social activities with friends or work colleagues. At times it can feel difficult to trust in those around you leading you to become suspicious of their intentions, thoughts or actions. Feeling heard, listened to and understood in therapy can help build trust and enable you to think about your experience and reflect on your issues with an impartial observer.
Family relationships involve a complex background and can raise a mixture of opposing and powerful feelings and can be a significant cause of stress for people. Work also can involve a myriad of relationships and power dynamics activating old wounds and causing stress, anxiety, anger issues and activating feelings of powerlessness and hopelessness. Individual therapy can help you identify the various roles you can become drawn into at home or at work and help you better understand how past experience may at times understandably influence your current thoughts, feelings and actions.
Therapy can help a person, individually or as a couple, understand how they relate to themselves and others and the underlying factors behind their feelings and behaviours. Often without realising it you can play out similar patterns over and over again within your relationships. Therapy can help link your current relationship patterns with past experiences to develop your self-awareness and insight bringing more freedom to choose different responses, actions and behaviour. The dynamic process of therapy at its best is a fluid, genuine and honest interaction based on curiosity and respect which can help a person to develop their communication and interpersonal skills.
Psychodynamic counselling or psychotherapy may also help develop your internal resources and relational capacities to better manage, cope with and respond to difficulty as it arises within your relationships. Developing your self-awareness and self-understanding through the process of therapy, can increase your self-confidence bringing personal growth.
Through these different way’s therapy may help lead you to enjoy richer, more intimate and fulfilling relationships with yourself and those around you.